Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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