I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am full of burrito and curiosity
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
