Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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