member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
