im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
