So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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