Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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