Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
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