I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
