I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
