you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
