its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize