it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
