Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
