I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
