this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize