New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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