That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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