I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
