I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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