I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
