is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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