man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
