i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
