The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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