brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
