The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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