So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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