Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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