He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
