May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I need to calm my uterus...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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