i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
