I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just had sex on a roof
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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