I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
