He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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