man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
