We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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