Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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