did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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