I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
