So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
