i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
