At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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