I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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