You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dicks are not precious.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
