i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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