i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
