I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
