We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
