Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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