Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
