So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
